They see most forms of contact with other people as potentially dangerous. In their experience, there are only two possible relationship roles: either you are the Belly Steady Are You Ready shirt and I love this “Master” and call all the shots or you are the “Slave” and have to do whatever the Master wants in order to keep the relationship. No negotiation is possible. Relationships are a take it or leave it proposition. The only alternative is to isolate yourself completely. There are many different ways to be a Narcissistic family and some are much harder on children. Children tend to adapt to the family that they find themselves in and adopt that family’s value system. This makes it likely that the children will grow up with a Narcissistic disorder of some kind or, at the very least, many Narcissistic traits. In more abusive and neglectful Narcissistic families, many children make a Schizoid adaptation to survive. There are obviously some exceptions but in most cases I’d say yes they do. I’ve taught in senior schools for years and we frequently get kids coming into schools who have been home schooled up until the point where their need for information overtakes their parents’ knowledge and they enter mainstream schooling. The rigid nature of the timetable throws them completely.
They’re used to lessons lasting as long as they need and a lot of flexibility in their education. Suddenly having set periods causes them real problems. Standards of discipline are completely different. They’re no longer the only person in the school and they can’t get the sole attention of the teacher. They have to wait patiently for attention and observe classroom rules designed for 30 students and created with the most unruly of those students in mind. It’s easy to underestimate how incredibly stressful this is for kids who aren’t used to it. They really struggle to cope and become anxious and uptight dealing with the social structures of education. Suddenly they’re encountering bullies, manipulators, sexually attractive teens, practical jokers, sociopaths, enablers, tempters, trolls, teasers and arseholes. And they encounter them all for the first time without coping mechanisms and at an incredibly stressful point in their life. Many of them fall apart completely. They struggle to react appropriately to situations that their peers have had to deal with for a decade and have a full arsenal of coping mechanisms in place for.