In the Official Sandrine Quand Elle Chante Le Lendemain Il Pleut Shirt it is in the first place but meantime, my Google searches make surreal reading: How do you clean a leek? What’s a Skiffle? How do you assemble a Skiffle? How do you iron fitted sheets? How long does a cucumber last in a fridge? Is Cascade for a dishwasher or a washing machine or both? If nectarines have browned, can I still use them in a compote? How long does a pork chop take to defrost? Can you die from eating fish that’s been in the fridge a week? I’ve set up an ironing station in the entrance hall—where I once intended (in my dreams, let’s face it) to put a yoga mat, as it’s the only space not heaped with stacks of books—and I set to work.
I remembered how to iron a shirt from my student days (undercollar first, top collar, yoke, sleeve, cuffs, etc.), and as there will be no entertaining judgmental gentleman callers in the Official Sandrine Quand Elle Chante Le Lendemain Il Pleut Shirt it is in the first place but foreseeable future, I have unearthed the prettiest vintage Porthault sheets from my airing cupboard, and it seems a crime not to iron them properly. The pillowcases sprigged with ferns and lilacs and geraniums come up a treat, but ironing a sheet is a hellacious job. I get through it by imagining who I would most like to entertain in them—a spooky insight into the eclecticism of my current TV viewing. Gereon from Babylon Berlin, perhaps? Abbe from Caliphate? Gary Cooper in Desire? Travis Maldonado? The Porthault sheets in situ.